I'm obviously too far behind on my blogging to reasonably update anyone on anything. So...I'll just share the randomness of my life as of late.
Yesterday, as we were walking from one store to another (because the first store was completely overrun with people starting their Chinese New Year shopping and we didn't feel like waiting in the checkout line for upwards of 2 hours, so we decided to go to a different store)... a dapper elderly fellow with a cane wandered out of his old Communist-era apartment complex gate and spotted us as he came onto the sidewalk. He was in the midst of humming a tune and suddenly burst into song.
"Lao wai! Laaaoooo waiii!" he sang.
In Chinese, this is basically "Foreigner! Fooorreeiiggnnerrrr!"
He continued onward singing his new "Foreigner" tune...
as we were discussing this amusing event, we passed a group of short bare-branched trees hung full of underwear, hot pants and miniskirts.*

Thus is life in China.

*clothing is hung to dry outside here- no one here has clothes dryers and the girls at the "massage parlor"(ie brothel)  next to the trees apparently had no clothing line.

It has been forever since I posted on LJ! Wow! Motherhood and work have totally thrown my blogging off the rails!
So, of course, I'm posting in the middle of the night because I was so exhausted I fell asleep at 9PM while feeding Leo and woke up at 5 because my body thinks it got a full night's sleep...

I feel like I should update on the last half-year since I wrote anything... but the update is pretty much like this:

China. Writing. New Orleans and Mardi Gras. China. Seoul. China. Writing. Toddler Group. Pusan. China. Random Toddler Stuff. Writing. China.

I'll elaborate on a few of the more recent things:

Pusan, South Korea is amazing. I really enjoyed our trip there and recommend it to absolutely anyone. Lovely city, beaches, cliffside temples, scenery, etc. The food was great, the people friendly. Simply a lovely place to vacation.
I like Seoul, too- always love visiting there- but Seoul is already on many people's radar- nobody ever thinks "Hey, let's go to Pusan for vacation"- but they SHOULD.

Toddler group- Leo loves it. When I tell him we are going to Toddler Group, he stands at the door with his shoes and says "Babies?" During the school year, his group meets at a local international school, which offers up space once a week for the little ones to meet. Over the summer, we have been meeting once a week at various people's houses or at local toddler-friendly venues. There are a lot of children's play areas at malls here- I don't know if this is a common thing in the US, as I never had a kid when I lived there...
They are usually a large room upstairs in the mall that charges a fee for the kids to go play - they have stuff like a ball pit, a bouncy house, slides, baby-sized merry-go-rounds, lots of moving structures, etc. The one at Solana mall here has a smaller room with fake house/ building stuff- like a toddler-sized kitchen to play in and a kid-sized bank. The one in The Place (the Beijing mall with the giant screen on the ceiling that is always shown in ads and articles about crazy Chinese malls) has an area with giant balloons blown around by fans for the kids to run through (it is more fun than you can possibly imagine- I'll be posting YouTube videos soon)
So, we've been meeting up at those kinds of places all summer, and also at friends' homes.
We also went swimming one week in June at the pool at Chaoyang park, which Leo loved! I'm bummed because they are closed already, though. It's still HOT! Pools should remain open until the last possible warm day when people (read- ME) might want to go swimming. Otherwise, I feel guilty that we didn't take advantage of the pool and bring Leo more often over the summer.


Ok, that's all for now...
I will try to make a more coherent post later this week... I know this one is a "5AM" kinda LJ post...

B

Christmas in China is an...um...interesting affair.
Sometimes, I'm mildly confused by what they come up with here in terms of decorations.
In another sense, I am highly entertained by the sheer enthusiasm shown by their attempts.

At a local mall in Beijing (The Village in Sanlitun), for example, we have:


the giant, terrified Christmas doll head with super-tall exploding  dunce cap


( Read more... )

As I'm doing research for the random articles I write to support my "being a mother" and "doing stuff I want" habits, I occasionally come across other random articles or scientific research that blows my mind.

Like this one today:

"Change in Human Social Behavior in Response to a Common Vaccine" from the Annals of Epidemiology.

Basically, the take-home is that when a virus- specifically the flu virus- infects us, we humans change our behavior. We become more social, hanging out with more people in larger groups, for the 48 hours immediately after infection. Before symptoms show up. And, conveniently, a great time for that friendly virus to spread to others in the community.


I've often bored people to death with talked about toxoplasmosis and its effect on the rats that catch it. Basically, for those who DON'T know this story- toxoplasmosis is a parasite that infects rats and gets carried by cats. When it infects a rat, it changes the rat's brain and behavior- making the rat temporarily braver and more curious- which makes it more likely to get eaten by a cat. The cat will then carry the disease to the next area it visits, where it will expel the parasite in its feces, to get eaten by rats, who will become braver... you probably see where this is going.

Up til now, I was unaware of any infectious diseases altering the brains and behavior of humans. But apparently, the flu appears to do so.

Kinda creepy, huh?


(BTW- disclaimer and mini-rant: The study looked at a live flu vaccine, which induces the same changes in behavior as the flu itself- so anti-vax people can stop their "OMG- the flu vax is evil" crap right about now cuz I don't wanna hear it. The science is not about the vax, its about the virus- the vax was a model because it is unethical to go around injecting people with an active virus that's potentially deadly just to look at behavioral changes.)

The temperature outside was 23 degrees Celsius (about 73 F).
The temperature inside our apartment was 24 degrees Celsius(about 75 F).
After temps in the 30s all week, this was decidedly cooler than it had been for a while.

We walked outside with the baby, wrapped in his Moby-like-wrap, for a quick trip to the store a few blocks away. His legs hang down from the wrap and he's got no socks on.

As we leave the apartment building, I remark to Justin "I wonder how long it will be before someone..."
A Chinese girl interrupts me.
"Excuse me. Isn't your baby cold?" She touches his little feet as he beams up at her.
Justin says. "About two seconds."


B

We're picking up some baby books while we are here...with the obvious requirement that any books bought must be ones we are willing to read 3000 times or more over the next couple of years (because you never know which book will become the inevitable "Read me THIS one again" book.)

So far, we've picked up:

"The Runaway Bunny" by Margaret Wise Brown (which is one I love and wanted to get anyway)
"Kitten's First Full Moon" by Kevin Henkes (which I found really cute when I read it in the bookstore and is a Caldecott winner.)
and
"Dazzle the Dinosaur" by Marcus Pfister (which Justin chose and read to Leo this morning. Leo seemed entertained. So did Justin.)

I'm open and interested in other suggestions for good books to read to Leo. Any books your kids or kids you know loved/love as an infant/toddler?

B

Yeah... this column, which was written in December, was all about how I *wanted* the birth to go... so didn't happen that way...


Dreaming the Birth Plan

As I get closer to my baby's birth, which should be about a month and a half from now, I'm starting to think about my birth plan and dream a little about what that day will be like.

At the hospital where I'll be delivering, they gave me a ten-page questionnaire asking how I want the birth to be, detailing everything from who will be in the delivery room with me to what medications I do or don't want. I had no idea there would be so many choices, but I'm glad to be thinking about all of this now instead of waiting until I'm actually in labor. Although in some ways the idea of planning for birth seems strange- after all, women have been giving birth for millions of years without a long questionnaire to fill out beforehand- I really do believe that planning ahead of time can make that day much calmer and healthier for both my baby and me.

In my dream scenario, I envision a peaceful natural birth. I want to avoid the panic, rushing around and shouting that people usually talk about when they picture labor and delivery. I'd like to welcome my little one into the world in a calm setting without any added stress. I think from the baby's perspective, just the act of being born is stressful enough!

I already know it isn't like the movies where the mother goes into labor and rushes to the hospital to have her baby in the hour or two before the show ends. In real life, there are often many long hours between the start of labor and the point where the mom gets to meet her baby for the first time. Most people view those long hours as full of pain and hard work, but I'm not convinced it has to be that way for me.

I'm planning on using a technique called Hypnobirthing or Hypnobabies, where the pregnant mom does self-hypnosis, deep breathing, visualization exercises and relaxation techniques to keep her body calm instead of relying on medicines. Some of my friends think I'm crazy for trying this, but others who have given birth this way praise the method. So in my imaginary world, I picture a lot of waiting between contractions and practicing my breathing and having everything go perfectly.

Of course, as my friends with children have warned me, these things rarely go according to plan. I've had three friends in the last year undergo emergency C-sections after they or their babies developed problems during birth. This scares me a bit, but I'm trying not to think too much about all the things that could go wrong. That isn't easy, though, because after having already gone through so many complications in this pregnancy, I tend to consider all of the possible outcomes, not just the good ones.

Part of the philosophy behind hypnobirthing is letting go of fears about childbirth and trying to view it as a joyful experience. It sometimes seems like most cultural references to childbirth only show the worst-case scenarios. Movies are more exciting when the mother or baby's lives are in danger, but that doesn't make them realistic. Searching online, I found some videos of mothers using relaxation techniques to have a peaceful birth. One of my favorites shows a laboring mom singing as she has contractions. It just seems a much nicer way to have a baby than breathing heavily, crying or being woozy from medication.

Meanwhile, I've checked off the things on the birth plan questionnaire saying I want a natural birth, want Justin in the room with me and would like to have the baby handed to me right after birth. I'm undecided about stuff like whether or not I want to bring music to play or whether I will want to walk around while in labor.

Asking Justin about what his preferences are for the birth, he offered a succinct "I just want to stay out of the way and not get yelled at." He's got the image in his head of the laboring mother shouting "You did this to me! You caused all this pain!" as the baby is born. I think maybe he's seen too many movies.

Nonetheless, he's supportive in my decision to give birth without medication or other interventions. And I've been practicing my breathing exercises and relaxation techniques as I've started to have Braxton-Hicks contractions in these weeks leading up to the point where I will be considered full-term. There's no need to be afraid or nervous about birth, I keep telling myself. I've mostly got myself convinced.

I suppose no matter whether the birth goes according to plan or not, the most important thing will definitely occur. I'll finally get to meet my little one and become a mommy for the first time. And that is the best dream-come-true of all.


B

Sometimes the randomness becomes so commonplace that I forget to look around and notice it. Which is cool, in a way- like life is so weird that I've forgotten what normal felt like. Not that I've ever really known what "normal" felt like, but you get the idea...

Meanwhile, my life in the last few days...

Friday in a cab, where I'm going's not important, look out the window and there's the typical Beijing streetside scene, people, optical specialty shop (prescription glasses), restaurant, internet bar sign with no discernible place where there could possibly be an internet bar, restaurant, massage and nail place, sex shop with a little girl of about age 5 sitting on the floor playing with her dolls, restaurant...

Saturday- Housewarming party- countries represented: US, China, UK, Germany, Australia, Austria, Poland.And it was a fairly small party. At the end of the night, the party devolved into two separate conversations about evolutionary biology.

Sunday- Mother's Day. Brunch at outrageously ostentatious hotel downtown. The decor reminded me of the movie Titanic. Good food tho...and a special gift of chocolate and bath stuff for all moms. Which I am now...holy crap- how did THAT happen...um..ok...yeah... no, really, loved my 1st mothers day brunch and the whole day...

later- went to the UCCA (art museum) exhibition/installation "Feelings Are Facts"
http://www.ucca.org.cn/portal/exhibition/view.798?id=35&menuId=20
This exhibit is like walking inside some combination of art and cotton candy...it is at once disorienting, fascinating and bizarre. Giant industrial space transformed architecturally into a sloping bowl shape, filled with deep fog and lit so that as you move from section to section you are immersed in different colors- literally breathing in color. Wild cutting edge stuff.
Then we walked around the art district and encountered a bunch of chickens pecking out some seed from a lonely patch of grass.

Dashanzi, home to amazing interactive contemporary art and chickens.

Another cool exhibit we saw was one by Lee Yong Deok at Pyo gallery, with inverted negative sculptures that looked 3-d when viewed from across the room and moved to "follow" you as you shifted side to side.

After art exploration, we wandered down to Pizza Hut, where the waitress insisted we not get anything larger than a small pizza for two people, which is sized like a personal pan pizza in the US. The restaurant was also playing a recording of "Happy Birthday" in Chinese over and over again the entire time we were there.

Sometimes it's good to stop and note the random. But they seriously need to change the music at Pizza Hut.

B

Someone told me about Bad Translator. It's a site that translates your sentence into other languages and back to English 10, 25 or a "max" number of times and like a game of telephone, you end up with something other than the original.
I had to play with it…
http://www.conveythis.com/translation.php

My favorite, which made me go "awww":

My sentence:
My baby is the best infant in the universe.

10 iterations later:
"My son is a prominent young biological space"

25:
"Biological Boy Names"

Max:
"Love"

B

I had my 6-week post-partum appointment and got cleared to do simple exercise again, which is good because I've gotten quite tired of "taking it easy."

But it got me thinking, because so many people I know who had C-sections had awful recoveries. And for some reason, I was ready to run around the week after if they would have cleared me. By 3 weeks post- C-sec, J was having to remind me "no, take the elevator, not the stairs" and "don't carry anything heavier than the baby" because I would completely forget that I wasn't supposed to be doing these things.

So I've been trying to figure out what they did different with me vs all the other people I know. Which is kinda also a "how they did things in China" if anyone wants to know.
What I've come up with so far:

1- I had the glue, not the stitches or staples. Apparently, the glue allows for faster recovery if the internet is to be believed, so I suspect this is a factor.

2- I had binding. No idea if this is standard anywhere else, but in all the "C-section recovery" websites I've looked at no one mentions this part in the immediate post recovery. Basically, they wrapped this super tight stretchy band around my waist for the first 4 days post-C that held me together. Kinda like a stretchy medical corset. I got annoyed with it and took it off myself on day 4 since it rubbed my skin when I walked around. No one insisted I put it back on, so that was that.

3- I didn't have oral pain meds or IV pain meds. I had a box attached to my back for three days. I'd never heard of this before, but didn't realize how unusual this is until speaking with someone a week or so ago. Essentially, they left the epidural in for 3 days and it was attached to a little box that dispensed pain meds on a regular basis (at least I presume that's what the occasional buzzing sound it made was.) I could press the button if I needed more, but it had a 30-minute timeout, so if I pressed once, had to wait 30 min before I could press it again. (I apparently pressed it 15 times over those 3 days, according to the doc)
The box got annoying after about 24 hours, since I kept having to move it around on the bed and keep it out of the way, not roll on it when I slept, keep baby Leo from grabbing the tube for it,etc. But I never had any other pain meds besides that box, and when they took it out of my back on day 3, I didn't actually feel like I needed anything else. Never even took a tylenol or anything. Only pain after that was when I laughed, and I soon figured out the "pillow on abdomen" trick to stop that.

4- I was confined to bed for three days. I've heard from others elsewhere that their docs made them get up within 24 hours- sometimes shorter than that- to start walking around. I was tethered to my catheter and the pain med box until day 3. 24 hours post-C, I was allowed to turn sideways in the bed. Catheter removal on day 3 let me get up and carry the box around for a day til that also was removed. (Oh, I could move my legs, btw- the box wasn't like the epidural from the surgery where I was numb waist-down. That wore off after a few hours.)

5- They gave me the worlds most amazing gas remedy to get rid of all the air in my belly. Seriously. This stuff was so awesome that I tore the label off the box and saved it in case I ever have abdominal surgery again, or y'know, intestinal issues. So I can have someone ship me this stuff from China to wherever I am. I'm not joking. It's called "simotang koufuye" and it says on the box in English "correcting the flow of Qi and sending down the ascending qi to adjust the gastro intestinal function." It was a set of little bottles of herbal liquid.
I also had some other Chinese medicine that came in packets you mix with water. That one tasted like chocolate chalk and whatever it did was not especially noticeable.

Anyway, I've had an amazingly pain-free and fast recovery from this whole C-sec thing. And I'm not sure who/what to credit for it.

B